My disability is...

I am lazy. I don’t understand why I can sit in a seminar with not one person to talk to and still not be able to get myself to do my homework. That inner lazy man of mine controls me. I really do not find that feeling very enjoyable. I know in my inner not lazy man that I will feel so much better if just get to work and actually finish one project in my life. Isn’t that sad that I vaguely remember finishing one project?

I think what is even sadder than that is that I posses the ability to accomplish things and yet I do not take advantage of it. I posses the ability to run, jump, and see things that some do not get the chance to see. Why me? Why would the Lord give me no disabilities when I deserve all disabilities? These questions haunt me quit often in my sleep or just when I am being lazy.

So I am still stuck like the pipe tester leaving a job. I just feel guilty about letting my abilities waste away. I feel guilt for not pushing my mind to a harder level. I feel guilty that I don’t enjoy running and jumping all the time.

Then a dart from the blue! I realize why I am the way that I am.

I have the biggest disability there is: lack of motivation. I have no motivation to get up in the morning even though I have the ability to. I have no motivation to push my mind in excelling even though I have the ability to.

So in a way this is my cross to bear. I want to make a drastic change but the chances are that by the time I am done writing this I will be vegging out on my couch with some cookies and milk watching Ellen.

I have a disability, and I praise the Lord for it, because when I am weak He is strong.