The Great Return

Hello blogging world. It has been a while since I last puked my inner most thoughts on to a web page. I know your all dying to know what’s going on in my unfathomable and insightful mind these past two weeks. In all honesty not a lot has been going on in my head. I have been thinking about time a lot. It is interesting how we all go by a system of time. We all go through high school at the same age and then everyone goes through college at the same age and then everyone gets married at the same age. Now there are quite a lot of exceptions considering most people do things at different times in their life (I am so indecisive its outlandish). It is interesting though how we all go by a similar time line.

Where the heck am I going with this…

I think the direction I should be going with this post is about living in the now. Now (haha I said now twice and got away with it) living in the now is sometimes confusing to me. If I only live in the now how can I see what’s coming? I think living in the now is only taking one step at a time and thinking what direction you are going to step. For example: if there was a car coming right at you and I was just living in the exact now it would probably hit you. So I think that living now is totally of God and what we are supposed to do with our lives, but I also think that God would wants us to look at the ground we are walking on if there is a hole a couple of steps in front of us. I think it is fine to be cautionary with our steps. I hope this makes sense to you all because it only kind of makes since to me.









Well that sucks because I am the smartest person in the blogging world and if I don’t get it well then…you get my point.

To be continued...

This post is the continuation of the story of Emmitt and Anne. The last story I told was about how they loved to pal around.

Now pal around time was good, but Emmitt and Anne eventually realized people would not believe them any more. So they decided to call each other best friends. Well that went great until they went to a land far, far away to watch some gypsy ballers. They both realized on that trip that they meant much more to each other than just “friends” or “pal’s” or “best friends”. At one point in their relationship they were all of those things, but then things got a little different. They realized they wanted to spend more time together, and with each other’s family. They wanted to be closer. They were not really in search of any one to hang out with except for each other.

Their individual walks with the gypsy god were great. They loved to pray together. They saw many miracles through their prayers. There were dreams and visions that were told about Emmitt and Anne that confirmed their desire to be together.

In the gypsy world the next step from best friends is dating just like in our normal world. Emmitt and Anne did not want everyone thinking that they were just like everyone else in the world that dated. They wanted purpose in their relationship and they wanted to keep everything in the light. So they decided to date, and realized it does not matter what the world thinks because they know what they are about and they are about keeping God first.

In a way they are pursuing a courtship. This is the wikipedia definition of courting.

The courtship is a period of time where the couple build a strong friendship along with the romantic relationship resulting in a strong, non-sexual intimacy between the two. The hope is to set a strong foundation (along with a true faith in God) for a life-long marriage. It is not a chaperoned time, although many may believe it to be.

To be continued…

There are lots of them...

Yellow brick road; paved road; dirt road; gravel rode; regular brick road; your moms road (just making sure your still with me:). My point is that there are many different roads in life, and all of these roads have different effects. Some are bumpy, and some are smooth. Some of them are dangerous in the rain and some are safe. Some lead to a happy ending and some...not so much.

I am a senior!

Sss-en-iii-or! I am really not sure how that chant went but that’s a good thing because people who know that stuff are lame.

This means I have to decide what to do with my life :o . Sorry for the lame smileys. They just emphasize how bad of a writer I really am, and I am okay with that now. I have to make a decision. This decision will and is going to affect my life significantly. I can’t just be whatever I want because that won’t support a family, because what I want is to stop school and work at a local Tire and Lube Express shop (no offense to Levi C.). It sometimes is inopportune to be a guy. Don’t get me wrong I like being a guy (I’m not gay). I just get sick of making decisions all the time, because I am very indecisive and i am afraid of failing.

Sigh of relief.

So what rode should I take? The yellow brick rode obviously leads to a happy ending, but what about the other roads. Some of them have lions, and tigers, and bears: Oh my! Seriously though I will eventually have to decide, and I honestly look forward to the challenge.

This is what I say to my future, “ Bring it on you creator of anxiety! I will no longer fear you and your malicious ways. I can take whatever you say”.

Future says, “ You have to pick a road and this decision could ruin your life foreeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeerrrrrr.”

I say, “ Oh crap”.

Little time

No more procrastinating with my life. It is time to have a mission. I am sick of waking up and living for me. I want to live for something greater than myself, and something even greater than others. That is what the majority of people do with their lives. Now don’t get me wrong, living for others is a good thing. It is a great thing, but I think there is something better. I have seen a lot of people who live for themselves and a lot of people who live for others and I think that is too normal for me.

Gal. 2:20- I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me, the life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Jesus is a great example (go figure). He did not ultimately die on the cross for us. He did it ultimately for the Father. In the end the Lord was glorified.

That should be my life. I live for myself only to glorify the Lord. I serve others in thought of glorifying the Lord. My life is the Lords in this age and the ages to come. This is the age of trial where we can learn to live by faith. The ages to come will be a lot easier in my opinion because we will see more of the Lord than we can ever imagine.

This is a short life we live on this old earth. I encourage you not to waste it for anyone but the Lord.

Look what i found!

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Fresh out

One-week anniversary!

Writers block is awesome. The life of a writer is like a roller coaster. You twist and turn and scream with the wind in your face.

I hate to admit it, but it’s not at all that exciting. The only thing that is somewhat similar between the two is the screaming part.

The End

Shoe laces

I at an early age wanted to learn to tie my shoes. So I would pester every living being at my church tell they blew up with irritation of my squeaky voice. I had a strong desire to learn and explore the challenges of life. At my clear age of 4 the hardest thing to do was to tie my shoe. It just fascinated me how people could just bend right over and grab the strings flying freely in the air and twist them this way and that tell they made a nice neat bow. So one day at church Jamie Koplen tried to teach me his shoe tying skills. I tried forever but I could never quite get it right. I would watch him do it and then quickly try and repeat exactly what he did. I failed to accomplish the task of tying my shoe by my own brainpower. I eventually came to the place of so much irritation about not being able to tie my shoe that I started contemplating suicide, but then I realized I would really miss eating chocolate so I decided to stick around a little longer.

One day I was at a prayer meeting with my dad and some other gents. You can by now already guess what was going through my head, “ Okay so the big loop goes over there and the little loop goes over there and then pull! Dang shoes! I will never amount to any thing!”. Eventually I stopped with the shoes and began to pray. Even though I started to pray I still couldn’t stop thinking about the shoes. So I decided that I was going to ask the Lord to help me. I said a little cute prayer that got straight to the point, “God help me tie my shoe”. Then I tried tying them one more time. “ I tied my shoe!” I shouted aloud in the middle of the prayer meeting.

The great lesson in this boring story about my shoes is that the Lord answers prayers. It does not matter how big or how small it is. The Lord just wants us to make Him first in our lives.

The common nod...

I find it very funny how we address people who we really don’t know or even the people we do know. You all know what I am talking about. Everyone has their “walking through the hall gesture.”

For examples: Levi opens his eyes really wide and high by raising his eyebrows and then lowering the eyebrows. It is incredible how brilliant we are at reading peoples face gestures. You don’t even have to know Levi to know what each actions means. We all know how to translate them. As the eyebrows go up its, “ Yo what up homy gee ” , but then what does it mean when he puts the eyebrows back down? I will tell you, “ Yeah your really not cool enough for me to stop walking and talk to you.”

So right now you should take a moment to forgive him…

My all time favorite…the common nod. It’s the ultimate face and head gesture showing that you at the most are just acknowledging someone you kind of sort of saw or met one time.

Well that was awkward. I guess I just started doing the common nod thing repeatedly since I am writing about it and then I looked up while doing the common nod and saw my teacher looking right at me. I think my social status points just went way down. Oh well, at least I don’t care about my self-image (that is such a lie I am so insecure right now).

Is the common nod just a cover up of our true intentions? I think we all just like looking at each other and our insecure part of us has to stumble lower than dirt and do the common nod. I mean obviously guys like to look at girls and girls like to look at guys and sometimes the other way around (Levi I know what your thinking). So why don’t we just be open to each other. When we pass someone through the hall lets say, “ Hey man what’s up”, and then we can state our reason for looking at them, “ You look nice today”.

This idea might be weird. Because if your reason for looking at that person is because they have a zit then you just might want to go ahead and do the…

Common nod

Surreal

As I was driving down the rode in the midst of a foggy cold and dark-night the unsuspected was surreal. The fog was as dense as the dust from a gravel rode. It was just enough of a chill outside that the car windows began to frost. The night was dark but dimly lit. The rode sloped up and down. All these things came together to cause the thing that was completely out of my hands but also the thing that was completely in Gods hands.

My self and Hayley shared the same fascination of the mysterious window frost. We began to present our thoughts of logical reasoning for the cause of the window frost. Hayley began to present her thoughts of the beginning of the mysterious window frost. I being a good listener turn to look at her while she is talking and writing on the window. Then that is when the unsuspected became surreal. “ Samuel!” yelled Hayley like a walrus. Before my foot could touch the break, and before my eyes could even focus on the white vehicle one second away from being pulverized we impaled the rear end of the vehicle. I felt like I just hit a 250-pound man in football pads. That split second of crashing into them and spinning a 180 felt like a lifetime. As I was about to hit them my mind kept saying,” No this is impossible, you are not going to hit them”. Soon after that thought I was pretty convinced that I just hit them.

Time stood still for the first time in my life. I sat in my seat in doubt that Hayley or me had survived. My first instinct was to get Hayley and my self out of the smoky vehicle. As we exited the vehicle all was well except for our nerves. I will never look at a vehicle the same. I am deeply afraid of entering a vehicle and gripping the wheel. I am going to get back on the horse someday but I got bucked pretty hard and I will take my time getting back on the horse.

Its moments like those that cause me to think of those I care the most about. Its moments like those that I cannot stop saying thank you. The Lord only gives out what we can handle so I thank him so much for not letting anyone get hurt. Also I thank Him for not taking a life. I don’t know exactly how I would of recovered if someone I cared about lost his or her life that night. I love life more than ever because of that experience. Most importantly, I love the Lord more than I ever could of imagined.

The Lord has a perfect rode of trials for my life and I praise Him for that.

My disability is...

I am lazy. I don’t understand why I can sit in a seminar with not one person to talk to and still not be able to get myself to do my homework. That inner lazy man of mine controls me. I really do not find that feeling very enjoyable. I know in my inner not lazy man that I will feel so much better if just get to work and actually finish one project in my life. Isn’t that sad that I vaguely remember finishing one project?

I think what is even sadder than that is that I posses the ability to accomplish things and yet I do not take advantage of it. I posses the ability to run, jump, and see things that some do not get the chance to see. Why me? Why would the Lord give me no disabilities when I deserve all disabilities? These questions haunt me quit often in my sleep or just when I am being lazy.

So I am still stuck like the pipe tester leaving a job. I just feel guilty about letting my abilities waste away. I feel guilt for not pushing my mind to a harder level. I feel guilty that I don’t enjoy running and jumping all the time.

Then a dart from the blue! I realize why I am the way that I am.

I have the biggest disability there is: lack of motivation. I have no motivation to get up in the morning even though I have the ability to. I have no motivation to push my mind in excelling even though I have the ability to.

So in a way this is my cross to bear. I want to make a drastic change but the chances are that by the time I am done writing this I will be vegging out on my couch with some cookies and milk watching Ellen.

I have a disability, and I praise the Lord for it, because when I am weak He is strong.

The Man

Beep! Beep! Beep! My ears finally get through to my head that I am supposed to arouse from my deep and quite place of sleep. My eyes eventually start to open as I wipe away the blurry sleep from my eyes. Each blink from that moment is at least ten seconds long. So I roll off the bed and fall five feet onto the alarm clock and crush it.

I am totally another person when I arouse. I like to call him frustrated because it is very frustrating to be in a perfect world of rest and contentment where there is no pain and no awareness of the suffering around me or in me and then awake into a cruel world that awakes you with loud shrieks of beeping at an hour that is so early that even the birds aren’t chirping yet.

The freaking birds are sleeping people! What the heck is your problem!

It’s the man. The man is taking control of our lives and ruling us by machines such as alarm clocks, coffee makers, ovens, phones, cars, T.V., computers and microwaves. Now I am not against these wonderful machines that give me life. No, that’s not it at all. I am against the schedule created by the man that the whole world functions by and runs their life by.

Dear Man,

Why are you so inconsiderate of others? Every day I lose hours of sleep because of you and I will never get to go back in time and sleep them out. Where did you get the nerve Man? Did you get an A on a paper one day and decide, “ I’m awesome, and with my awesomeness I will create a system that the whole world will function by like zombies not knowing which way to go unless the ‘Man’ (me) tells them where to go.” That’s ridiculous Man. I bet you’re the one who created the one-way streets. What happened to our individual rights and freedoms? So much for a democracy, this is a camouflage unitary government, and once I find you Man with your secrete unitary government be afraid.

Your enemy,
The Charm

In conclusion we are becoming a part of a system that takes away from our sleep and I don’t like it.

I am going to kill the Man.

Man meat

I have been a little bit more personal on my posts lately and I do not know how I feel about it.

I feel like crap.

I started out my posts with good impersonal raw-meat material. I thought that was all I was going to do.

GOSH DANGIT!!!

My feminine nature slipped! I don’t know about other men, but when I write down personal information that means something deeper than a ‘that’s what she said’ remark I instantly start interrogating my self to check if I’m still straight. Society is preaching to us every day that men must be dry raw meat.

That is preposterous!

Men should not be bland raw man meat. Man meat should be medium rare. It should not just be medium rare but also very marinated and bursting with delicious flavors.

Women, get off our backs (twss) about being emotional and deep. We have every right to poor out our emotions on to paper. So even though I feel like a girly man for sharing my thoughts and feelings I will not let people turn me into raw man meat.

I strive to be lusciously marinated man meat.

End of story

They just pal around

The definition of pal around is to become friends with and spend time with somebody


I know these two people. Their names are Emmitt and Anne. Emmitt and Anne met not long ago in a place far, far away. They first met on the streets while they were both performing for extra pennies. Considering they both had similar talents they decided to combine their skills to attract more viewers. More viewers meant more pennies. More pennies meant more fun on train tracks. So after making money out of the hood they slowly became pals. As they slowly became pals they began to go through hobbies together. Then things got a little bit crazy. Just little minor innocent hobbies became adventures. Now these adventures were not always legal, but just like any other teenage gypsies they had a desire to live on the edge. As life went on with Emmitt and Anne they found themselves being ridiculed for just hanging out.

Yeah so maybe they spent most of their time together at night looking at the stars and the moon, but that is normal for any young gypsies to do. Some people might say that they were asking for it but I say they just had similar interests.

Their spectacular shows on the street eventually came to a crashing halt. People from all around were talking about them. Wherever they went they always felt like they were being watched upon intently.

As time went on many emotional beatings progressed. None of it made since to them. According to all their gypsy friends they had to accept the gypsy label of the gypsy law. Now Emmitt and Anne did not agree with the gypsies view or the gypsy law. They were not about to accept such a label.

So Emmitt being the leader and Anne being the one who agrees decided to pray to the gypsy god for guidance. As time went on they both were patient and kept waiting for the gypsy god to speak to them in a vision or dream. Finally one night while they were both looking at the stars they saw the gypsy god form out of the stars and he started to dance and sing. He eventually gave them the advice they needed and the direction that they should go with their ‘friendship’. The god just simply warned them that they should not be alone at night gazing in wonder of the stars.

So now the two young gypsies just pal around with accountability.

To be continued….

Puzzle

 

My life is like a puzzle. The hard part about this puzzle is that I my self-can rarely put the pieces together correctly. Even though I am brilliant and a master at puzzles I cannot seem to piece together the puzzle of my life. Here are the following examples in my life that I cannot piece together. First off I cannot control my future. The future is out of my reach. Even though sometimes it seems close enough to touch it will always be out of my reach.


Also relationships are another puzzle in life, and their level of difficulty is HARD. I find myself everyday screwing up relationships. I try so hard to make them work but there always seems to be kick back. I have decided to label my self a stupid jock when it comes to relationships. You would think I would figure it out by now, but no I am still clueless. The best success I have ever had in a relationship was when I stopped having relationships. The problem with that solution is that I become dry and socially ignorant. Even though to some people ignorance is bliss I don’t think I want to be an ignorant slut when it comes to people and relationships.

“Relationships screw you over” Mcvay S.

That is what I used to think of relationships yesterday, but since then I have had further revelation through circumstances that have caused me to repent of my ways. The key to relationships is to stop trying! When I try I suck. It is sad but true.

The only thing I ever try to do now is seek the Lord when it comes to relationships. I have had the most success with this equation….

GOD+ME+RELATIONSHIP=SUCCESS

The equation I used to live by was…..

ME+RELATIONSHIP=PAIN

Now when I say pain I’m talking frozen sledgehammer to the groin pain.

The Lord wants our attention and will let us screw up relationship after relationship until we seek HIM.

He has already put together the puzzle of your life.

BFF

First and foremost I want the creator of the blog world to know that I am writing this against my own will. It is funny to me that when we are young it’s a big deal to have a best friend (laugh)(when I put in parenthesis an emotion that is what you should be feeling when you read, so just in case you don’t know what your supposed to feel I will remind you). I mean when you are caught in second grade without a best friend or up to sixth grade for that matter you emotionally get beat to a pulp (sad). So all my life growing up I always made sure I had a best friend even if it was an imaginary friend. Now for most normal people they stop doing the bff thing in high school. I mean it makes complete and logical since. Once you are in high school you get lots of new friends and tend to start going your separate ways like oil and water. Unfortunately I am not very logical or smart or good looking or talented or handsome or quick witted or strong or manly or dark or a crowd follower insecure freak of nature! (exhale) Even though there are a lot of good things that I’m not there was one bad thing that I’m not and that is a follower. I am individualistic. So with great individualistic ability comes great individualistic responsibility. Actually that does not make since and I don’t believe it so ignore that last lil tid bit (laugh). I am going to come out of the closet. I am 18 and still have a best friend!! Yeah I know it’s beyond believing. Just go ahead and let it soak in real deep. I wont write out his name for the sake of identity theft (Edward Oliver Kriewel…aka Teddy). We have been best friends ever since I can remember. He is now off to college and has replaced me with a girlfriend. Even though he is an insensitive jerk he will always be my superbulous BFF. (cry)